Sex and Relationships Editor Christina Murphy details how dating shouldn't be the centre of any student's world
During the first month of college it can be easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of meeting new people. Amongst all of these shiny people that you will meet during tutorials, lectures, clubs and societies, there's bound to be someone who catches your eye, right? However, dating in college isn't always all that it's cut out to be.
The reality of it is that the love of your life is probably not the first person you made eye contact with from across the lecture hall. During that first month of college, everyone has a story of someone who they are seeing. A casual hookup, a low commitment relationship, or their new soulmate. If you ask these people about it five months later, in the second semester of college, there is a 99.9% chance that whatever relationship there was has already crashed and burned. In the initial transition period between life before college into life during college, anyone can find themselves embroiled in a college romance, but at the end of the day it's not the end of the world if it doesn’t work out in the way you wanted it to.
For those who do succeed in turning their eye-contact situationship into more than just a reason to turn up to class, there is now a different set of questions facing the couple in question. What is dating supposed to look like in college? Is it like all those American rom-coms with grand gestures of love and adoration at every turn? Doubtful. Or at least, we’ve yet to have seen someone stand up on a table in the James Joyce library and announce their devotion to someone. As long as it’s not during exam season...
Naturally, to each their own, but to break it down to the basics, college dating requires participation from both parties in order for relationships to work. Students have more pressing expenses to worry about than flowers or dinner most of the time. And with trying to balance classes and labs alongside studying and a social life, there is less time to be spent with your partner. Things like being the one to pay for dinner, consistent dates, flowers, and any gifts become more of a privilege then the “bare minimum” requirements for a relationship to work.
That being said, these things can still be expected, but just with the knowledge to appreciate it just that bit much more.
The main take away is that no matter what the situation is, you don't need a college boyfriend, or girlfriend, or partner. Dating can and should be fun, but children and wedding plans shouldn't be topics of serious conversation or concern before the frontal lobe even develops.
College is the time to discover yourself as an individual and find your own way of life. The most stressful thing in college should be getting your Microsoft two factor authentication to work, not whether a potential partner likes you back.