Where’s Woulfe? Seamus Woulfe forgoes Supreme Court Nomination after re-taking natural form- The Harpy

Supreme Court judge nominee will no longer be eligible for Supreme court nomination after re-taking his natural form as a werewoulfe, Minister for Injustice and Corruption Helen McEntee-box has confirmed.

McEntee-box spoke to The Harpy outside the Dáil on Wednesday to confirm the reports. She said; “Mr Justice Werewoulfe is currently somewhere in Connemara hunting small children and livestock”. 

McEntee-box went on to say that Mr Werewoulfe had been turned back into a Werewoulfe on a permanent basis. “An inter-party meeting was held at the castle golf club on Wednesday night between Mary-Boo-McDonald, Vice-Taoiseach Mehole Fartin and Leo Nosvaradkar. After discussing the issue at length, the three party leaders agreed to travel by broomstick to the Hellfire Club. Upon arrival, the three leaders cast spells, stirred a cauldron containing the broken promises and asked for the Archbishop Diarmuid Shartin’s blessing to have Mr Woulfe turned into a Werewoulfe on a permanent basis”. 

While giving her speech McEntee-box was hounded by RTÉ reporters. They claimed that they could see Mr Woulfe loitering in the car park of Dáil Eireann. McEntee-box denied these allegations, claiming that it was simply a sheep in Woulfe’s clothes. The RTÉ reporters were satisfied with the explanation and went home to get ready for a massive retirement shindig. 

The spells cast were a tremendous success. The Green Party leader, Eamonn Tryin’, welcomed the move. He claimed that the reintroduction of Woulfes to Irish society was the first election manifesto promise his party had kept since entering government.