After months of calls from the business student body to increase integration of the Michael Smurfit Business campus with UCD’s main Belfield campus, the university have finally caved to popular demand, The Harpy can confirm.
UCD President Orla Feely announced recently in a press conference (that you really should have been at, because it was really cool) that the new portal would be airlifted by helicopter and dropped on the green outside O’Reilly Hall to be operational within the coming weeks, but that it would only be online ‘a few days per week’ because of the huge cost to operate it. Estate Services also promised to fine anyone caught flashing the portal €70, the same fee it would cost someone to jump into the main lake.
“Truth be told, we’re not really sure how the whole video link part works, but we had to put all the money we get from Smurfit into something. We just wrote a blank check and let a contractor figure the whole thing out,” the President said.
The Students’ Union issued a response in protest, lambasting the university administration for failing to implement a real portal between Belfield and Smurfit as part of a wider transportation plan, and vaguely gestured in the direction of the Dáil chamber for failing to do something or other.
[The Harpy’s fact checkers (recently downsized due to budgetary constraints) gave this suggestion a “whatever” on the scale of possibility.]