UCD Confessions Guy Confesses to Having Zero Bitches

In a frank, honest and open discussion with noted tumour on student democracy UCD Confessions Guy, the anonymous internet crusader has revealed that he currently has a grand total of zero bitches, and has no intention of doing any pulling in the near future.

Speaking with the Harpy, Mr. Guy told of how his online vigilantism has ensured his eternal virginity, despite performing multiple acts of fellatio on some fellow named “RON” last semester.

“Just because I am speaking truth to power, people think that I am unworthy of love” he protested, an observation that this Harpy reporter cannot attest to, because I tell the truth and I fuck. Hard. 

Getting up close and personal with UCD’s most celebrated celibate, I put the question to him on whether or not there were any romantic oeuvres coming down the tracks. 

“No” comes the obvious response, “the only pulling I do these days is on doors marked ‘push’”. 

UCD’s Incelsoc has marked Mr. Guy out for particular praise, noting how his success online has opened new doorways and proven that complete losers with little or no prospects at social engagement, can indeed make their mark in UCD.

Intrigued, this roving Harpy reporter contacted UCD’s health and counselling service, and inquired as to what treatments are available for those with difficulties pulling bitches. “In most moderate cases, there are a range of options available for those who wish to increase their ooga-booga-daddy-making capacities” the kind lady informed me, “However, in the case of Mr. Guy, even if we removed his face and stitched back on George Clooney’s glorious chiselled grin, the prospects of him being left on seen are still over 90%”.

When I questioned Mr. Guy about whether or not this bothers him, the response was frank. “No man, I’m a lone wolf alpha male, not some cuck chad normie like you.” 

At the time of writing, I have absolutely no idea what any of that means.