Twats of the Fortnight

Celebrities, eh? What assholes.@planetjedward #jedwardpic gleeOMGlee you guys it’s our two favourite things in the whole planet – J to the E to the... er, Jedward and Glee, omg so coooool. It’s dedleeee. Yeah, Jedward let’s do it!!1!eleventy. @noelfielding11 just made an egg macmuffin for Hugh Laurie. He doesn’t know this as I have never met him. But I will be furious if he lets it go cold.We don’t know what Noel Fielding is on... but we want some. Also an Egg McMuffin. @taylorswift13 I just used a Sharpie as eye liner in the airplane bathroomClassy burd that Taylor Swift. I’m real happy for you and imma let you finish, but actual eyeliner is the best eyeliner of all time. Of all time.@realbillbailey revenge, the main ingredient in the Klingon cookbookBill Bailey? A nerd? Who’d have guessed. @simonpegg Hey babe, just DMing you to let you know that I’m wearing your underwear and I killed next door’s cat with a pencil. Keep it under your hat.Simon Pegg gets to grips with accidentally public DMs. Awkward turtle.@phlaimeaux I’m starting the first retro search engine. Just ring me up & ask me whatever it is. If I don’t know, I’ll give you my dad’s number.Watch out Google, David O’Doherty’s plotting to usurp your totalitarian search engine regime.