Top Ten Alternative Christmas Films
By Andrew Carroll | Nov 24 2015
10. Reindeer GamesReleased before Ben Affleck was super-famous and super-buff. Reindeer Games follows an unlucky ex-convict played by Ben Affleck who just wants to enjoy a family Christmas. Instead he’s seduced by Charlize Theron, beaten up by Gary Sinise and forced to rob a casino dressed as Santa.9. Black ChristmasOne of the earliest slasher films and genuinely creepy to boot. Based on the urban legend of ‘The Babysitter and the Clown Doll’ Black Christmas denies the feeling of safety and warmth Christmas brings. There might be footsteps on the roof, but it’s not Santa.8. Dancer in the DarkChristmas comes at the end of this film but it’s not a relief. A tragedy starring Bjork, no less, and only something the most nihilistic of viewers could enjoy at Christmas. Director Lars Von Trier obviously decided the film wasn’t miserable enough and set the ending at Christmas, just for kicks.7. Silent Night, Deadly NightCondemned by family groups and critics not just for its brutal violence but for its brutal violence AT CHRISTMAS?! Silent Night, Deadly Night follows a serial killer Santa butchering those he deems ‘naughty.’ Be grateful this year that it’s the turkey being carved and not you.6. Bad SantaAn alcoholic, sex addicted, chain-smoking Billy Bob Thornton robs people. Only this time he does it dressed as Santa. Darker than it sounds but still hilarious. Watch it after Christmas dinner, they don’t make Christmas gross-out comedies like this anymore. Well, they never made them, but the point stands.5. Kiss Kiss, Bang BangRobert Downey Jr.’s ignored return to form is the funniest detective movie ever made. It’s a Christmas movie with Val Kilmer as a gay P.I. and several ridiculous twists as well as some unforgettable quotes. Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang is a Christmas movie like no other.4. Die Hard 2Anyone can put the first Die Hard on a Christmas movie list but it takes a truly brave writer to put the sequel on said list. Taken to silly new heights, John McClane has to save his wife and Christmas from domestic terrorists. The one-liners might not be as memorable but I’ll take Bruce Willis saving Christmas over Tim Allen any day.3. Eyes Wide ShutStanley Kubrick’s final film and probably one of Tom Cruise’s best roles. An erotic thriller set one snowy Christmas night where a rich, young doctor explores the nature of life, sex and marriage. Eyes Wide Shut is a must for film lovers or those looking for a steamier surprise than lingerie under the tree.2. Batman & Mr Freeze: SubZeroThe swansong of the Batman Animated Series. Though not set at Christmas, it does feature Batman’s snowiest villain. Its focus on the villain’s desperate search to revive his wife gives this film the subtly heart-warming touch so many of today’s Christmas films lack.1. The Nightmare Before ChristmasOnly Tim Burton’s depraved mind could conjure up the idea of combining a Christmas and Halloween film into one glorious mishmash of the two. Following Jack Skellington in his confused plot to celebrate Christmas, Burton weaves horror, romance and festive joy all into one, creating perhaps the most alternative Christmas film ever.