Been dealing with da huns problems since 445AD… Ur resident agony aunt & Hunnic Emperor lol! Don’t mess wit my girlos or I’ll wreck u like I wrecked da city of Aquileia . xoxo. Tweet me! 

Story Hun,
On freshers’ week I saw this scorcher of a lad in the freshers’ tent, he was definitely out for the hole cos he was chattin’ me up about the light within and all this, but when I asked him to come out to Bruce Willis with me and the girlos he wasn’t interested. He said something about moral standards of Christianity, which is when I remembered that copy of the New Testament he gave me, I just used it as a statement necklace, but now I’m wondering if I’ll have to start wearing more crucifix-print leggings to get his attention or what’s his story??


Howiye hun!
It’s always a downer when you fancy someone who gives a shit about ethics, that kind of craic is only fun in roleplay.

Yer man sounds like he’s wet for faith, and there’s only so much accessorising that’ll catch his attention (although TopShop have the most glam Christ-y things in at the moment so there’s no harm in investing in some, ye can never have too many studded crosses) but in the long term he’ll probably notice your rampant disregard for like, God, and all that racket.

I was never religious myself, but it didn’t stop me from hoppin’ on the Romans for being religious anti-bants in the 4th Century.  Just be who you are, and burn his gaff to the ground if he gets too intense.


I’m in a hoop over the smoking ban that just got approved… Firstly, who are all these bogeys who don’t like smoking? Science shows that smoking increases the incidence of your being a hotzer, so they’re lying to themselves by voting against it. The spas. But also, smoking is part orlistat purchase of my image, it’s intimidating and uninviting, which is good cos I hate people. How can I replace shmokes in a way that’ll successfully get bogeys to fuck off away from me?


Hey hun,
I completely agree, anyone who voted against smoking should be shot in the tits, cos they’re after taking away everything good and pure about UCD. Sure like, if I had a smoke while I was decking Singidunum, I’ll have a smoke outside the Newman building. In fact, John Henry Newman was mad for Malboro red anyways, the shly dog.

If you wanna get away with it better, try going for a shneaky shmoke under the fume hoods in the science buildings, or the stairwells in Newman, they’re both built to hold toxic bilge, and you can have a lash of inhaling solvents or stealing a fresher’s satchel in both respectively.

You could use electronic cigarettes, but like, I can tell you’re not a complete tool so that’s a last resource, try it after an attempt to burn the university to the ground fails.