Amelia Albrecht discusses the economics of dating as a college student.
In a world where the economy is crumbling to pieces, inflation keeps rising, and you are a broke college student, how do you afford to be in a relationship?
When it comes to the economics of dating, it truly is up to the individuals involved in the relationship. Whether you are in a situationship, relationship, or going on a first date, there is only so much advice you can receive before making your own decision. So that’s exactly what this article is: advice for you to make your own decision.
Pulling from my own experiences, I prefer to pay for myself or to split the bill. Not for any ulterior motive, but simply by not wanting to put someone out over my own expense, especially over something casual. This can obviously change as you get to know your partner more and more, with deviations like treating the other. One student said that keeping payments separate makes little treats for the other, like buying their favorite drink, more enjoyable. An alternative to paying for yourself could be to take turns paying; keeping things equal, but still making the effort to pay for each other. This option tends to be easier in practice because people do it with their friends too.
Straying away from being in a relationship, the complexity of first dates makes this question even harder to advise on, let alone answer. There are three main ways people go about paying on a first date: with some people believing that “the man should pay”, others thinking that whoever did the asking should pay, and then there is always the option of paying for yourself or splitting the bill. However, on a first date, all of these options have different implications of how you feel about the other, but this also depends on the kind of date you go on. When going out for coffee or something casual, it is usually acceptable to order and pay for yourself without any issues, or pay for both of you and possibly make a better impression. When in comes to a more formal first date, like dinner, this becomes more complicated: If you pay for yourself without any discussion, it may imply you did not have a good time; if you ask to split the bill, you could look cheap or also look like you had a bad time and don’t want to put the other out for a bad date; if you offer to pay for the whole date you look good, but could make the other person uncomfortable by being “too forward”; but overall the worst thing you can do is not offer anything at all.
So with all the complexities of a first date or dating in general, how do you decide who pays?
Simply put, talk to the other person. This could be as simple as saying you are going to pay for yourself or you are going to pay for you both. It could also be a quick conversation saying how much you appreciate the way things have been working between the two of you so far, however that may be. Or expressing your discomfort with the way things have been going and suggesting changes.
In our economically unstable, broke college student world, the best way to go about paying is to find what works best for you and your relationship.