Tallyrand XXVIII Issue 2


Tis I, Charles Maurice de Talleyrand-Périgord, back once more to inform you wretched inmates of this foul institution of the corrupt goings on behind closed doors. Since last we spake, I have witnessed much tomfoolery, and no competence.

To this end, I’m beginning with El Presidente Rory Clout Chaser. Having called me a liar for exposing his clout chasing before, I challenge thee to better characterise how he has used social media against Sir Lord Keegan. In my day, we didn’t ferment revolution on Twitter, and we ne’er breached the privacy a gentleman expects when sending snark to his lessers.

Speaking of clout, Molly Greenleaf and Aoife Brocken have been dragged away from “case work” to help in the social media fanfare, even being asked to use their personal pages to share 45 minute documentaries about how good Comrade Anderson and Joanna Sit-in were at fighting University Administration on housing. So good that nothing has changed! Poor them, if it were me, I would also opt to spend all day sneaking off to smoke “Case Work” behind the student centre. 

Carla WhateverNameIWriteIsFunny has been surprisingly abscent from all this. I suppose a woman of her age knows well how to take a smoko in peace. I also gather, as the only Sabbat to ever be my senior, that she regards bebo as newfangled and thinks “Clout” is what you give a baby round the ear to stop it crying.

In my humble opinion as one of the most decorated revolutionaries in all of French history, I must declare Darth Horkan to be the best at his job. Among his finest achievements are sneaking red (You know, the communist colour) onto a poster to be printed on a Black and White Printer, and dedicating two weeks of handing out glossy class rep leaflets to have them all tossed. Newsflash, grandpa: if flyers worked, the trots would have won by now.

I hear tell that Sarah Bitchalot has been throwing tantrums over her lack of inclusion in my columns. Good, I say. This is all the attention I’ll pay her, unless she does something truly interesting, like start a fight with the student centre by having covid non-compliant raves in the red room. Standing up to the cruelty of lockdown is the best possible thing an SU officer could do!

I waited with much excitement for Andy’s little visit to the Liberal & Homosexual society debate on housing, So you can imagine my disgust to hear he wasn’t really joining in! Cowardice I say, I wanted to see some second year, high on critical theory, come at the bloke with a point of information. In the Australian parliament when that happens, you settle things outside.

Well, revolution is being fermented, so I shall be on my way for now, lurking in the background, keeping an eye on things.

Fare thee well, morons.