Talleyrand: Murphy’s cesspool on the Potomac

Take notice, sick members - Talley’s back at it.

Talley sends his endearing love and best wishes to WIP Class of 2019 - Union President Barry Murphy and Rosie Aljohmani, forever a Union hack, are blessed to have been accepted. We’ve not quite reached April Fools Day and yet, Talley finds himself in stitches over the news. The WIP panel must have been particularly astute to see through the web of conspiracy and lies which have so obviously plagued their journeys as student leaders. Such damned luck they have to spend an entire summer together. Talley can’t wait to see the holiday snapshots.

Murphy is likely to have a blast on the elite cultural and political youth exchange program - he’s used to being labelled a Very Important Person on campus, but it’ll be a new experience entirely for somebody to actually believe it. Aljohmani, on the other hand, will probably feel vindicated after missing out in last year’s bid for the Union’s presidency, and decide to retire early into obscurity following her graduation. Equally, she may have this decision made for her.

Unfortunately for him, Murphy will have had one less person to celebrate the news with over the March break given the sudden and unfortunate, but ultimately short-lived force sojourn taken by his dearest friend. A week off for one’s one welfare, so to speak - see you next Tuesday, President Murphy! What lark it is to know that our venerable leaders treat as a latrine the offices of their compatriots (although in this instance, it is perhaps deservedly so). Nevertheless, even had foul relationships been avoided, Talley notes that, what has always been, will always remain, a pigsty. Conflict cannot be avoided when Ego leads...twice.

As we drift merrily towards the finality of yet another miserable term in this horrid institution, Talley wonders - what little those Union thugs have to show for it! Long is the list of students’ desires, and longer still were the young sabbaticals’ manifestos just this time last year. Once more, Talley and his children lie waiting, exasperated and determined to see at the helm somebody (anybody), who does not represent the political malaise which has afflicted the institution for so long now. Perhaps our long wait will be rewarded - though Talley thinks it more likely that we’ll just get what we deserve.

Talley out.