A UCD student has reported feeling “heartbroken” after realising that they missed their chance to register for any actually enjoyable modules after forgetting that today is online registration day. Experts say that their chances of getting a 2.1 in their final results are “slim to none”, and that dropping out of the course may prove to be more rewarding in the long run.

Mark Gallagher, a second year Irish and Sociology student, was dismayed when he woke up in the afternoon to the remains of a previously active group chat, full of messages from friends saying that they had “logged in just in time”. A quick scroll back to midday revealed the impact of Mark’s mistakes, and when he logged into SISWeb, the time he was provided with to begin module registration all but guaranteed that he would have to “do one of those shite modules that weirdos and mature students do”. In an interview with the Harpy, Gallagher said that he was willing to do anything to get a better time to be able to register for his modules, and has gone so far as to email members of UCD Faculty links to his Soundcloud to show them that he’s worth more than his awful results would lead them to believe.

Professor Moe Conníolach of the School of Irish, Celtic Studies and Folklore in UCD called it “a crying shame” that Gallagher would not be able to register for the modules that he had initially planned to take in his course. He admitted that “although we try to make our courses as engaging and interesting to students as possible, we have to admit that we’ve got a few duds amongst the options. Like, who actually wants to do 600 year old literature?”

Gallagher hopes that his story will serve as a warning to other students in UCD of the dangers of “going out to Coppers the night before you have a deadline because you want to meet a girl you were chatting to on Tinder but end up puking your ring up in the toilets in Babylon until 3 in the morning”. He finished his interview by plugging his GoFundMe page to pay for the inevitable repeats he will have to sit in January.