Whether you find yourself dribbling in a taxi home, spilling taco fries down your front or smooching a member of An Garda Síochána outside of Coppers, Catherine Munnelly is here with a collection of songs that will make your drunken experiences even better
1. Oasis – ‘Wonderwall’
The Grandaddy of all drunken ballads, usually emitted by exceedingly emotional men after their tenth back alley can of pissy tasting beer. Do not be alarmed by their tears, their open arms or the swaying of their person; just embrace your own emotional drunken side and shout the insincere chorus of “And maybe, you’re gonna be the one that saves me” in response. Resistance is futile.
2. Eminem – ‘Lose Yourself’
That beat and those lyrics are capable of making anyone feel ghetto fabulous. Actions associated with this song usually involve waving your arm up and down and swaying your head right to left, while having intense eye contact with anyone who dares to look at you.
3. Adele – ‘Someone Like You’
It is a well-known fact that the only time that this record’s lyrics truly resonate is when your blood has been overpowered by the plethora of naggins, shots and pints that you have consumed. Blame the radio for overplaying it or blame yourself for never really dealing with your problems when sober. Wail this song through your tears in the toilet cubicle, alone in the foetal position.
4. One Direction – ‘What Makes You Beautiful’
This song has been known to transform big butch men into blushing 14 year old girls. It is almost impossible to pull yourself away from the dance floor as hook after hook is thrown at you by those sublime falsetto voices. Side effects may include a red face and the search for dignity in the cloakroom when the song concludes.
5. Mundy – ‘The Galway Girl’
Fake an accent, make up a family linage that can be traced back to County Galway; do anything to embody the black hair and blue eyes of The Galway Girl. Or at the very least do swing dance and unknowingly twist your own ankle.
6. Abba – ‘Dancing Queen’
Whether you’re actually 17 or have put so much make-up on that you think you are, this belter will in no doubt have you moving and jiving, and in general thinking you look as good as one of the Abba girls.
7. The Pogues & Kirsty McColl – ‘Fairytale of New York’
Christmas songs in March, does drunkenness know no bounds? No. With its trad linage and its slurish vocals, it’s a shame every Irish stereotype was not explored. A verse about pre-drinking or one-night stands could have further relevance to the masses.
8. Wheatus – ‘Teenage Dirtbag’
Harness your inner angst-ridden teenage self with this track. Scream the lyrics (we know you know every single word) at people who vaguely resemble the characters in the song; the girl in Keds with tube socks, that guy who looks like a dick driving an IROC.