Lili Masters’ guide to being diagnosed with ADHD late in life.
It may seem like “everyone has ADHD these days,” and many Instagram reels or TikToks will indeed be quick to diagnose you. But in reality, diagnosis has become more accessible and less stigmatised, meaning that many people who slipped through the cracks are finally getting the answers they’ve been looking for. Historically, ADHD research has almost exclusively focused on young boys, which has meant that if you don’t fit the stereotypical symptoms, you don’t receive help. Personally, since my grades were decent, my ADHD was not discovered until I was 21. What wasn't seen was the tremendous effort it took to keep up. All my time was spent trying to cram my brain into a shape it simply couldn’t fit. I can even count myself lucky that I was diagnosed at the age that I was. Many people, especially women, never receive a diagnosis, believing their suffering is something they must live with.
But getting diagnosed isn’t a get-out-of-jail-free card. It’s reassuring to have an explanation, but there’s much more to learn about the condition. Having ADHD comes with a slew of other health issues, which aren’t often talked about. Not only have sleep disorders, depression, anxiety, and the many side effects of chronic stress been linked to the disorder, but gastrointestinal issues, allergies, and asthma are also on the list. Fun stuff. Once you've been diagnosed and start researching, you may have many “aha” moments, but you also run into some scary statistics. People with ADHD are said to live 6-8 years less than their neurotypical counterparts. That's not an encouraging thing to read. The risks connected to this mortality rate however, are significantly lower when ADHD symptoms are managed.
Now, with only a diagnosis in hand and therapy spots exceedingly hard to come by, finding the tools to manage your ADHD can feel daunting. I’ve found that a good place to start is to track your own habits and energy levels and to accept that what works for you will not necessarily be what is generally recommended. Speaking with fellow ADHDers is also incredibly helpful, if only to feel seen. Even YouTube can be a valuable resource: There are dozens of videos in which neurodivergent people compile their experiences and tips. One thing that has dampened my inner critic is understanding that my circadian rhythm is simply different to the typical Western daily routine (which rings true for many people, I’m sure, ADHD or not). My energy tends to spike at around 10 pm, and definitely not in the mornings, which are…hard. I can't control my schedule fully, but I can take advantage of this knowledge and give myself grace. The same goes for university work. I have made peace with the fact that I have a precarious concentration window of about two hours, and I understand that certain environments are more conducive to a "flow-state" than others. If I need that one specific alpha wave soundtrack or an app where a sentient bean guilts me into focusing (shout out Hank Green), then so be it. There will also be those days when I just won't be able to focus. In those cases, it’s useful to remind myself that I am genetically designed to frolic in a field and am, in fact, not a machine. Productivity doesn't have to be perfect: do bad work and detangle it later, clean instead, or dare to do something "unproductive" that you enjoy.
"After all, one of the biggest myths is that the majority of the population is normal."
To be frank, receiving my ADHD diagnosis was a bittersweet experience. On the one hand, it was a great relief, a starting point. But it did not erase the genuine suffering that can come with going through childhood and adolescence undiagnosed. In my case, it did cause depression. I've come a long way since then, and overall, I consider myself an extremely fortunate person, but I can’t understate how valuable it would have been to know what I know now and to hear that it wasn't some personal failing. All that is to say, give your childhood self a hug from me.
The good thing is, we are not alone. That means, even if institutionally, support and research are only slowly trickling in (but trickling in nonetheless), we can rely on each other for tips, an open ear or a shoulder to cry on. There are no losers from the continued research into ADHD and the recognition of it in "mainstream" culture. After all, one of the biggest myths is that the majority of the population is normal.