Christina Murphy explores how stress can impact your sexual performance.
Did you come to university thinking you would have the freedom to be as sexually active as you want, only to be ambushed by your own body in the bedroom? Well, you're not alone. Studies have shown that stress is the main reason people suffer with desire, comfort, and performance.
The main factor affecting why you can't get in “the mood” would be your cortisol level. Cortisol is a stress hormone that, amongst other things, affects the body’s stress and anxiety levels. Very high levels of cortisol don't only cause stress though, it can also affect sexual desire and performance.
Sex is different for everybody. Some have kinks and desires that would go unheard of by others, and no two people's sexual experiences will ever be exactly the same. The only thing that unites most people in the bedroom is stress. Stress over how you look, stress over your performance, and stress about things that don't even concern what's happening in the moment.
In a study conducted by the National Institute of Health, researchers found that only 21-30% of women experienced orgasms when having penetrative intercourse, with no clitoral stimulation. Shocking, right? In another study, they revealed that only 18.4% of women actually enjoyed orgasming from just penetration alone.
On top of this, it was also stated that 58% of women who reported not being able to reach their climax cited the cause as stress and anxiety. Many factors play into women’s stress in the bedroom, including body dysmorphia, exterior stress invading the bedroom, and a need to perform well.
These reasons also affect men. Lloyds Pharmacy surveyed 500 adult men and found that 50% of them had experiences with erectile dysfunction. It was reported that two out of five men admitted that they wouldn’t even feel comfortable seeking help for ED. This creates a vicious cycle of miscommunication, only adding to a building stressful relationship.
People struggle with the need to impress their partner. Unfiltered access to the internet from a young age is becoming more normalised, and a lot of young people already have a pre-conceived idea of what sex is supposed to be. When something doesn’t align with these notions, it can cause more stress, and kill your libido.
Stress can be equivalent to a “fight or flight” response. When trying it for the first time, sex can be overwhelming; it's new, and a bit strange, and Sex Education really does not teach us what we need to know. Increased heart rate and tension are common things people experience, which can result in impaired sexual function, dying libido, and can affect an erection.
It isn’t uncommon to feel stressed when approaching sex, but communication with your partner and a less stressful lifestyle can cause sex to actually become stress relieving. It can transform the bedroom from a performance to a pleasurable, and comfortable space, rather than being constantly worried about what your partner will think of you if you don't do everything exactly as you’ve heard about or seen online.