In a result that shocked UCD campus, Roebuck Castle has voted to leave UCD and become its own independent student residency with a majority vote of 51.9% to 48.1%. After weeks of campaigning from both sides, the result was announced today in the Student Centre. The result was met with a polarising reception, with some elated students claiming that they “finally have their independence back” with other students running through the halls desperately applying for residence in any of the other halls on campus.
Nicky Farry, leader of the Rexit Party, was absolutely delighted with the result of the election, despite conceding defeat before the final results had come out. “It truly is a great day for the residents of Roebuck Castle. We thought we wouldn’t be able to fully convince the people to do it seeing as we couldn’t get a bus into UCD to promote our message but it seemed to work out alright all the same.” When asked about how the building without the help of UCD staff or finance, Nicky seemed to be unfazed by the whole situation. “We will simply get a deal from UCD that will allow us to be treated the exact same way that we were before, just on our terms. How hard can it be?”
Students with places on campus are already feeling nervous about the proposed implications of the removal of Roebuck from UCD’s domain. Merville student’s are nervous due to the fact that if they wish to get into their own homes, they will need to have their student cards checked on both sides of the border between the two accommodations. “This is the worst thing imaginable! This is such an inconvenience, I don’t know how anyone could manage it,” claimed Susie Laporte, from Skerries. “This is nowhere near the worst thing imaginable,” said Patsy Gallagher, from Donegal.
The value of a residency in Roebuck Castle has increased significantly since the result of the referendum was published, making it much more difficult for students to afford staying there. Nicky Farry doesn’t seem to be worried about this result, however. “We expected something like this, so we’re not concerned. We’ll just simply ask UCD to give us more money. It’s a win win situation.”
The process to leave UCD will begin at the end of Fresher’s Week, where the members of the Rexit Party will be handing out leaflets promoting their new “Roebuck Castle Party Bus”, with prices starting at 500 euro per student.
Editor’s Note: Following the publication of this article it was revealed that Nicky Farry, leader of the Rexit Party, had ties to the DCU governing body. The legitimacy of the result has been thrown into question, and some are calling for Mr Farry to be sent to the Haig. As of now, the election results still stand.