Overheard on Campus - The Final Countdown

Image Credit: Meizhi Lang via Unsplash

One last time for Volume XXX, the UO casually eavesdrops your best conversations

 Applied Language Centre:

     Ok, I know the building is not actually called this anymore, but old habits die hard (and I forgot the new name). 

Why Irish People Don’t Like Fish

     An American teacher speaking to his group of international students said: “Apparently, we Irish cannot stand fish because we are so traumatised by the amount of fish our ancestors had to eat during Lent and on feast days (meat being forbidden by the Catholic Church), that even now, when we can eat meat, not a single Irish person likes fish”. I note that following the previous statement, laughter ensued followed by commentary that a few Irish students in attendance actually really enjoy fish.


Joys of Youth:

     “You can only really get drunk at this age. Over 25 and it’s just embarrassing.”


     “Take the skin off a dolphin, turn it into a whip…” Yeah, I have no idea either.

ADHD Meds:

     “Whenever I take my ADHD meds I see my phone in HD.”

Incy Wincy Spider: 

     Just a warning, if you have arachnophobia, you might want to skip this one. The spiders discussed in this conversation are not incy wincy. At all.

      “…sitting room, and I saw the biggest spider I’ve ever seen on the curtains. It was massive. It was like this big.” The speaker made a gesture with his hands, but I did not see it. 

     “What did you do?”

     “I ran. I ran and left my cat and dog.” There was much laughter at this from the speaker’s friends, to which he retorted: “You don’t understand. I was terrified. It was massive. I ran and I locked the door. I locked the two doors – the sitting room door and the kitchen door.”

     “How did you get rid of it?”

     “My mam kicked it out the window.”

     Good old Irish mammy. Capable of doing everything. Cook, cleaner, chauffeur, therapist, exterminator. 

Phone Trouble: 

     “I dropped my phone on my foot yesterday. I think I broke a bone. I can’t move my toes without pain.”

What Category is a Scone?

     “It’s the same category. A scone is a pastry.”

     “It’s a biscuit.”

     To a friend they just caught sight of: “What category is a scone?”

     “It’s a bread.”


Always Monday:

     “The past few weeks have felt like Mondays.”

Assuming Assuming:

     “Assuming there is a mechanism in which the mind can interact with the physical world.”


     “Did you hear? The Barbie film is now on the 2026 English Leaving Cert paper!”

     “What? No way! I feel that that will just ruin the film for them though.”

     “Nah, everyone’s seen it already, so it’ll be fine.”

Why I Couldn’t Go to Lectures:

     “I have an excuse: I’ve only 5 minutes!”

     To a third member of the group: “You’ve no excuse.”

     “Yeah, you’ve no excuse!”

     “It’s not that I can’t, it’s just that I don’t want to. My excuse is not ‘can’t’, but ‘don’t want to’.”

Roebuck Area:

So Much Stuff:

     “Why do you have so much stuff?”


     “Why do you have so much stuff?”


     “Why do you have so much stuff?”

     “Oh, my bag broke and…”

     “I don’t really care.”

     “Oh, well…”

     Why ask the same question three times if you do not care?


     A man hollering “Okaaay to rodeo!”

Gaoth Dobhair:

     If you study Irish in UCD, you are shipped off to a Gaeltacht for a week during our two-week ‘fieldwork’ period in March. The following is some of the stuff I heard there.


     “To be a translator for law with the EU, you need at least three languages. So, English, Irish, and Duolingo.”

Nap Time:

     As soon as our hour-long lunch break from classes began, someone walked into the canteen wearily saying “Nap time, nap time.”

Butterfly Farm:

     “And they went to the butterfly farm, but it was not butterfly season, and there were only two butterflies and a bee. They paid €30 each, and there were only two butterflies and a bee! And then they crashed their car! Serves them right for going to see a butterfly farm!”

Psycho Manager:

     “I have a psycho manager. He stalks the CCTV cameras.”

Curry Chips:

     “… is a lost cause. I was talking to him, and then he just came out with a box of curry chips from nowhere. And he started eating them. But he had no fork, so he was just scooping them with his hands.”

     “Wait, did you say curry chips?”

     “Yes, and he also had orange juice, so his mouth was all orange.”

Home Run:

     “I’m running on two biscuits right now.” Great way to start the four and a half hour (more like five hours) bus journey home.

I Can’t Take It Anymore: 

 “Stop, stop. I can’t take it anymore. Why is he throwing us around so much?” - A girl, about the bus driver negotiating a tight turn.