Overheard on Campus: Round 2

Image Credit: Carsten Carlsson via Unsplash

Once again, The University Observer is hidden in plain sight. Here’s what we’ve learned about UCD students this month.

Agriculture and Food Science Building:


     One friend’s greeting to another: “Don’t you dare knock over my Monster!” True friendship.

Thursday Food Market:

Impossible to cover up:

     One girl to her friend: “Oh, she kissed him before!” 

     She shows him a picture on her phone. He gasps and is silent for a moment before saying “It’s one of those things that is impossible to cover up.”

The Village:

Better than I thought:

     This took place on the day we got our results from last term back. “I did better than I thought I would. Before the exam, I was like ‘I want to do better than last time.’ After the exam, I was like, happy to pass.”

Sheep lecture:

     This was one of those times where you really had to be there to get the full hilarity of the conversation.

     “And you thought the sheep lecture was boring? Sure, you never do anything!”

     “I know. I was wondering why he was just nodding away at me. And then he was like, ‘So what’s the answer to the question?’ Sure, I hadn’t a clue!”


     I would just like to once again point out that I overhear these conversations by accident as I innocently eat my lunch or roam the corridors in the hopes of not being late for lectures.

Worst essay ever:

     I heard this one the day after we got our results back. “No, I actually did alright in the essay. I was printing it out, and I was just thinking that this is the worst thing I’ve ever put on paper. I mean, it was so bad that I thought I would get thrown out of my course!”


     A girl describing to her friend how she and her other friend made brownies the night before. This other friend lives in the Village, which is why she has an oven. “There was so much smoke, and we were afraid of setting off the fire alarm, so we just got some random boxes from the trash outside, and fanned like crazy.” How on earth they managed to make it outside and to the bins, and back again so quickly is a mystery to me.

Guess who:

     “Sophie, Sophie! Guess who just had a baby?” Unfortunately, I never got to hear who.

Coffee spiller:

     “Erin spilt her coffee today.”

     “No I didn’t!”

     “You did! She spilt it all in my bag. We spent ages cleaning it up.”


     “And the thing that’s evil and bad, is totalitarianism.”

Awkward silence:

     “I’m really looking forward to sitting in a silent room of awkwardness.” Me before pretty much every tutorial.


     One American to another: “I didn’t know countries other than America liked baseball.”

Get her hair:

     “Get her hair.”

     “She would kill me if I got her hair.”

     “Where does she get her hair from?”

     “Oh, she gets it from a hairdresser.”

     I heard this the day before Valentine’s Day. Bit late to only start thinking about possible presents now.

Roebuck Area:

One for sorrow:

     This one was just as much overseen as overheard. I was sitting in my room when I heard a little tap-tap. I looked out my window and saw a magpie sitting on the windowsill of another apartment’s kitchen. It tapped its beak against the window once more, then shuffled its way across the windowsill until it found a section of the window that was open. It then hopped through the window, and I never saw it again. They say that seeing one magpie brings sorrow, and this magpie almost certainly brought sorrow to that poor kitchen.

Construction doubts:

     Two builders – one supervising and one operating a digger (digging an absolutely pointless hole, only to fill it in again, before it was dug up and filled in again a few weeks later).

     Supervisor: “What are you doing?”

     Digger: “What are you doing?”

     Supervisor: “What are you doing?!”

     Digger: “What are you doing?... What am I doing?”

Monsters in the dark:

     Again, I sit in my room. I hear the apartment door open. Shuffling footsteps make their way down the hall. The person fumbles with the lock on their door. As the door opens, they let out a sound I can only describe as “Ooooohhhhaaarrrrr.” A few more staggering footsteps into the room, then, surprisingly, a high-pitched “ouch!”

   To flush or not to flush: 

      Girl A split foundation all over Girl B’s bathroom floor. Girl B used make-up remover wipes to clean up the mess, then, for some reason, decided to flush them down the toilet instead of putting them in the bin. Result: the wipes are stuck, and the toilet no longer flushes