Mystic Mittens: Vol. XXVII Issue 7

Your readings for Volume XXVII Issue 7, Published in print on 23/03/2021


Capricorn now is the time to reflect! You are considered to be the ‘Father of the zodiac’, but now it’s time to take a step back from the madness - even if just enough time to roll another rollie for yourself. If you don't acknowledge how far you’ve come, how can you possibly continue forward?


Don’t be alarmed. A loveable furry creature may be entering into your life. Be patient with it - don’t make any sudden moves! Whether it be a delightful rabbit, a stray cat, or a new boyfriend - this creature deserves your love. 


An opportunity of a lifetime is about to present itself in the form of a free improv class. Don’t walk away from it. Taking on new ventures that terrify you will only work well for your confidence. Let loose, and try really hard not to end your set with pretend killing someone. Improv goers hate that. 


This season’s pottery class is next season’s skill! Slowly, slowly your creativity is reaching ultimate peaks. Try setting up a new Instagram account dedicated to this outlet. Don’t let the haters get in your head - there's a market for pottery pieces"


Hows that Indeed search coming along? This month brings with it a surplus in kitchen porter opportunities, as well as some clerical work. Don’t turn your nose up at it, stubborn Taurus, your recent splurge on online poker has you needing a fresh income. 


Deepen your pockets this month, baby Gem. You are in for a lucrative venture. Be creative with it. Start checking under every cushion on your couch, some mysterious donor may Revolut you, or it might be as simple as scratching every All Cash scratchcard your local Centra has. 


This month it may be wise to conquer your sartorial fears, sweet Moonchild. Dressing for success and dressing to kill, although seeming similar to the blind eye, are in fact separated by the length of the mood ring upon your left index finger. Notice when success beckons in your external environment, or when the need to ‘kill it’ calls your name. Keep the mood ring close at hand.


Trusty Leo, you may not like to hear this knowing your penchants for the exotic in life. But this is your month for going undercover. Remove the clip-on mane and store it safely in your Jansport. Post a status on all forms of social media, bar Linkedin, to explain you are taking a little ‘phone break’. Respond to no one. Thank me later.


Although your analytical mind could give Sherlock a run for his money, remember that one episode of the Queen’s Gambit does not a chess pro make. Your drive and appreciation of any journey that leads you towards knowledge is beautiful, but remember that there are checkpoints on this drive. And to not text whilst driving. And to trade-in your Mazda.


Your floaty nature may find you in light trouble at the best of times, little Libra. Although your intentions are as pure and transparent as the Bora Bora ocean, your mouth has a mind of its own. This month, why not utilize your voice memo application? Run your mouth from the safety of your own bed and find your social life rid of trouble. 


By god, Scorpio, it is the TRUST for you this month. If you have been feeling a lacking sense of trust in others around you, take a sweet moment to explore your inner monologue. What’s fuelling this? Critical thinking, hurt, boredom...I may not be a purring psychologist, but I will be damned if I am not the scientist of the stars. Attempt your own science experiment by delving inwards. You have got this. 


Adventure is coming for you, Sagittarius! Famously known for taking every life transition in your stride, adventure is where you thrive. This month, attempt to enjoy the uncertainty that comes before a grand adventure. You may not know the coordinates, but you know that you got this.