Mystic Mittens: Vol XXVII Issue 6

Image Credit: Laoise Tarrant

Your readings for Volume XXVII Issue 6, Published in print on 17/02/2021


Darling earthy Capricorn. This month is a wonderful time for self-exploration and improvement. Now could be a good time to click ‘Complete Order’ on your Anne Summers basket. Vibrator in tow, you have taken the first step to brighten up those dreary lockdown evenings. 


You are a kook and a half, dearest water bearer. Remember that ‘social media guilt’ is familiar to us all. You are an incorrigible spirit and others need your wit more than they may ever speak into existence. Our advice? Always presume you are loved- evidence or not! 


You're overthinking it Pisces. You’re the ruler of your destiny. If the only reason that you’ve downloaded the newest version of Chrome onto your laptop is to watch adult films - own it. 


Recently, you’ve been drinking a lot more - ehm - juice, than usual. Overconsumption is like anything, Aries. It's a habit, not a personality trait! Confusing the two is easily done, so don't be hard on yourself. Take time to reflect on the past few weeks. Check in.


Our bullish amigo, this month brings with it some financial issues. Try to tighten the purse strings. You could try digging deep into your Apple subscriptions and do some spring cleaning. Do you really need that monthly subscription to Men’s Health?


Your double standards are causing some romantic issues. Could you be expecting too much of that fiery romance? Are you putting enough work in yourself? Deal with the beast head-on. Ask, and listen. It could be a new kink. 


My Crabby friend - hit pause for a moment. You’ve been working late, putting in those hours, baby. The price you’ve paid, however, may not be worth it. Your friends are feeling neglected - and what’s worse than a Friday night spent working? Answer: a Friday night working where your friends don’t send you memes. 


Sweet Aslan-esque creature. Your fire may be keeping others around you protected during these dark days, but remember the importance of putting on your own oxygen mask first. Sometimes, people want to roast marshmallows on the fires of your soul, other times, they want to burn tax-related documentation. Suggest they invest in a lighter and take the week off for some sweet TLC.


If you are reading this, analytical Virgo, then you are probably guilty of having searched ‘George Clooney Natal chart’ at least once in the past month. Remember that knowing George’s mercury aspects will not make Fantastic Mr Fox a more enjoyable viewing experience. 


Tender Libby, as you constantly strive for balance: both in the glory of your inner world and the external terrain of the group chat- try the devil emoji for a change, your vision will be clearer, your stress levels nonexistent and your usually calm demeanour will reach new heights of joyful.


Your astrological comfort zone, the eighth house, may be lighting up for you this month little Scorpion. Look out for taboos, inheritance, love-making and mystery. This is your domain, although you may not think you can handle all of the above- you shall flourish like a duck to water. 


Although on a day to day level, you may be either the archer or the prey. This month, why not attempt the more calming and communal experience of ‘Zoom darts’? It takes you out of the line of fire, whilst still allowing your friends to see the beauty of your naturally competitive nature. It’s truly a no brainer.