Mark Rodgers releases tell-all memoir: Square

UCD Acting President Mark Rodgers has announced a new tell-all memoir, entitled “Square”, which will hit all good bookstores, and the Campus Bookshop, this month.

The memoir follows hot on the heels of an interview with Oprah Winfrey last year, in which Prof. Rodgers voiced his frustrations about his vice-presidency, saying “Well, there were three of us in this executive, myself, Andrew, and the corporate hacks that we were selling our university out to, so it was a bit crowded”.

The memoir was accidentally released early into the SU shop in the engineering building, however, as nobody there could read, it was not until the book was accidentally released in the SU shop in the library that details of the memoir’s contents surfaced. 

Amongst the astonishing claims made by the book are the admissions that Rodgers lost his virginity, but won it back again by joining the University Management Team, has never blinked, and has killed “probably 25” different capital investment projects in his career. “They’re like pieces on a chessboard”, he explains, “and I don’t know how to play chess”.

Reviews of the book online have been generally mixed, with one woman commenting “I never wanted this, and can’t see the point of it. Not the book, just Mark Rodgers as President in general.” Another reviewer found that the memoir used a grand total of 30 distinct words, arranged in different orders, multiple times. 

In December of last year, Rodgers also released a 10-part Netflix documentary, ‘Hairy & Beggin', which detailed his attempts to win ever-more financial backing for UCD’s research.

Rodgers took a step back from his role as a senior member of the UMT in 2022, in the wake of mass media scrutiny by the university’s two underfunded newspapers that are run by students, who have three cameras between them.