Man drinks from water fountain in Newman, briefly sees God

A man has been left shaken, stirred, and rampantly evangelical, after a brief encounter with God, following his decision to drink from the water fountain in Newman.

Rather than subsist on the traditional Arts student diet of cans of white monster and tobacco, Philology student Richard Windass decided he would refresh himself with the smallest of sips from the fountain, which predates Newgrange and smells like gonorrhea.

Almost immediately, Mr. Windass embarked on a psychedelic journey through space and time, and shit himself violently. “It was incredible, man” he told the Harpy, “All of a sudden, all I could see were these flashing lights, that slowly took the shape of Librocop’s beautiful forehead. He told me I wasn’t allowed to eat in the library, and I told him that I loved him.” 

It was at this point in the interview that Windass started smooching the air, and making what can only be described as intimate noises.

Going further, Mr. Windass affirmed that he had met God, who called him “a lazy fucker who’s only doing five modules this semester.” Nonetheless, the brief encounter has encouraged Mr. Windass to set up a new religious society on campus, which has already proven to be better craic than YFG.

There have been talks about funding a replacement water fountain for the building, and the UMT have said that they will absolutely do this, as it is a key part of their capital investments plan, so there’s no way that will ever change ever in a million years.

At present, there are also plans to change the water fountain in the Ag science building, after students expressed that they would prefer if their fountains were filled with milk.