Librocop has been unveiled as the hottest new celeb to enter the Jungle, on ITV’s “I’m a celebrity get me out of here!”
Speaking to the Harpy after the news broke, Mr. Cop said absolutely nothing, before shushing me, and using the glare from his beautiful bald head to dazzle the cameras, in order to facilitate his escape.
Librocop will be going into the Jungle to join Boy “Don’t Google what I did 15 years ago” George, and Matt “Don’t Google what I did 15 minutes ago” Hancock, both of whom have expressed their concern at having an authority figure in camp.
Animal rights activists have been up in arms over Librocop’s stated ambition to not just eat the live larvae served to him in Bushtucker trials, but to also request second helpings. Furthermore, snakes and spiders have displayed a marked aversion to entering any pit that contains Librocop, rendering most challenges on the programme utterly useless.
Hosts Ant and Dec have become notably less buoyant since the announcement was made, with Mr. Donnelly telling the Harpy that “His stare confirmed to me my cold, solitary existence on this meaningless space rock. My soul will not know rest until I can erase the memory of those steely blue eyes.”
The Sheriff of James Joyce library has, however, excited support from many different fan groups online, due to his undoubted sex appeal. Groups calling themselves the Biblio-Five-Oh and the Geshhhhtapo have taken to the internet to defend their hero, who they claim is “the misunderstood voice of a generation”.
How Librocop fares in the jungle remains to be seen. In totally unrelated news, the James Joyce library has recently become overrun with murmuring, laptop cables, and people eating at their desks.