Kneecap Unbanned from The Clubhouse After Making Manager "Offer He Can't Refuse"

Image Credit: by Vanshika Dhyani

Gaeilgeoir rap group Kneecap may be returning to UCD campus sooner than you think!

The explosive rap group were originally banned from the Clubhouse in 2019 after their concert was cut short by UCD Estates Services for causing offence. Protestant student organisations, echoing the Belfast-based Democratic Unionist Party (DUP), protested the performance – not for any political or sectarian reasoning, but because they just didn’t think Kneecap’s music was any good.

However, just this past week, the ban was lifted following a frank conversation between Kneecap and Clubhouse management. A member of staff, who asked to remain anonymous, said while sweating: “Before they came to visit, I had no problem with the government. But now I understand that the current so-called ‘Republic of Ireland’ is nothing more than a continuation of the traitorous Free State, and that true liberation can only come with the rightful reinstatement of the Irish Republic of 1916 as a 32-county socialist republic, and also that my toaster clearly belongs on the countertop.” 

The manager of the Clubhouse, who very reliable sources usually say is British, reportedly could be heard saying that rapper Mo Chara was “no chara of mine”, in what critics are calling the corniest response since the Anglo-Irish Treaty of 1921.

When asked for comment, Kneecap responded but couldn’t be understood because I don’t speak Irish.