With the endless use of ghosting amongst Gen-Z, Amelia Albrecht explores why it persists.
Ghosting: something nobody wants, but inevitably occurs. So why does it happen?
There are so many different ways to end a relationship of any kind. All of them suck in some way, shape, or form, but we still use them. However, within Gen-Z the most used tactic is to ghost someone. Whether it is a romantic relationship, friendship, situationship, or whatever else you have gotten yourself into, ghosting seems to be the most common way to get out of them.
With this in mind, being the ghoster makes this process much easier. You cut contact and you are done. Being the ghosted, however, is different. You are left in a place of unknowing, debating whether or not you should reach out to see what is actually happening, or god forbid you double snap. Now, this may be a very large assumption, but assuming that most everyone has been ghosted (and if not, myself and many others are jealous), why do we continue this cycle?
Ghosting seems to be the easiest option for most people. It puts the problem out of your mind and makes it so there is no definitive end, possibly allowing for whatever relationship you were in to rekindle in the future. It becomes a relatively neutral ending; neither positive nor negative. Personally I try to avoid ghosting by opting for the much more cliche, “its not you, its me” text, which could hurt more in the moment, but also allows for a clean-er break from any advancing relationship. This method allows for both parties to move forward and have a common consensus that it is your fault that the relationship ended.
Alternatively, if you have the time, you could slow burn the relationship and fade away, pretending nothing ever happened. Consequently, this alternative often leaves everyone involved confused, if not frustrated with one another, ending the relationship in a negative tone.
Now here is the most controversial option: telling someone upfront. Although this option will leave at least one person upset, it does make it blatantly clear that the relationship is over. The controversial part of this option is that it can either deter people from ghosting, or heavily encourage it in order to never feel that way again. With all of these in mind, the neutrality of ghosting becomes favorable to most people.
In addition to its neutrality, ghosting can be taken to another ominous level through interpretation. Now one might think that there is nothing to interpret, but I beg to differ. Part of the uncertainty left with being ghosted is over thinking. You don’t know that they disappeared because they aren’t interested, they could just be busy? Maybe their phone died? Or maybe they really did break all of their fingers.
Overall, when choosing what direction to go when ending a relationship, remember there are options other than ghosting… but it's understood why you chose it anyways.