Agony Aunt - Volume XXXI Issue 3

Image Credit: Sasha Shame by Sofia De Rosa

It is cold. It is so, so cold. I am typing this with the jagged stumps of my fingers after the tips froze and snapped off...

The sun has set in the same moment it rose, the campfire is dying, the leaves are dying, hope is dying, everything is dying, my doctor insists I have seasonal depression, and in these dark winter days, I am once again your Agony Aunt, Sasha Shame.

I think I'm on a slower burner with someone but idk if they like me back in that way. Like we get on so well and there is always a bit of flirting but maybe I'm reading into it too much... This is more of a personal drama like Inside Out 2 fr.

Girl, we are in the same movie. We can't both be Anxiety though. so you're going to need to be one of the other new emotions. Yes, I did watch the children's movie, it's very good and actually better than the first in my opinion. 

Rest in peace, brethren. Having a crush is kind of like being in a meat grinder where all the spikes are coated in ecstasy - bad and painful almost entirely, but with some lovely little moments. All to say, I'm also trying to figure out if someone is actually into me or just a habitual flirt. I'll give you the advice I'm trying to take: there's no shame in attraction. The worst thing that can come from you being upfront is things are a bit shit for a short time, and then your life keeps going. You're submitting to a student paper and you write like you have a TikTok account (no offence, just an observation) so I'm guessing you're somewhere in your 20s. So am I! Twinning! We have our entire lives to live after a little awkward moment with a crush. The world won't end if they don't want to go out with you. And who knows, maybe they do want you! 

A surefire way to get into their pants is with Pavlovian response theory. Find out what they like, and remind them of that every time you're near until they associate you with their favourite foods, music, movies, et cetera. For example, you could have a friend play their favourite band from a speaker close by every time you and your crush interact. Or, if they're a lover of fish and chips, douse yourself in salt, vinegar and fish heads, and wait for them to fall into your arms! 

The drama is the lack of spaces for drag kings within the drag community.

What's a drag king? I've never heard of that. Is that like a drag queen but a boy? So do they drink beers instead of doing the splits? Or is it more of a WWE sort of thing? To be honest, TV wrestlers are just in drag.

This is so true though! We love to have one singular king on a show but how many shows have no kings? How many times is it the same king on every lineup? I mean honestly, how hard is it to have two, three, god forbid four drag kings perform at a show? There is such an inundation of drag queens doing every show in the country, so many cis men getting the gigs and being celebrated by bars, organisers, crowds. And I'm not saying they don't deserve it, but there are so many trans people who perform, so many cis women who perform, and so few of them are recognised for the incredible artistry they do!

This submission doesn't need advice. Instead, I'll offer YOU THE READER some advice. Follow all these incredible kings and things on Instagram:

The Irish Drag King Collective (@ irishdragkingcollective)

Phil T Gorgeous (@ philtgorgeous)

Dan The Man (@ danthemandragking)

Enda Danite (@ endadanite)

Hester Ectomy (@ hester.ectomy)

Mast Ectomy (@ mast.ectomy)

Doctor Count Evil (@ drcountevil)

Viktor Complex (@ viktor_complex)

Xxxpresso Martini (@ x.xxpresso)

Boy Trolton (@ kingboytrolton)

Cheri Mander (@ cheri_mander_drag)

King Phisher (@ theekingphisher)

Victor Victoria (@ victorvictoriadragking)

Kenny Todgers (@ kenny.todgers_dragking)

Mr Percy Vert (@ percyvert)

Obsidian Drake (@ obsidian_drake)

Nina Tendo (@ nina_tendo)

Ben Panthera (@ benpantheraofficial)

Them Fatale (@ mxthemfatale)

And there are so, so many more! Go find them in a bar near you!!

I recently found out that I wasn’t invited to an event a lot of my friends were invited to. I thought the person hosting and I were on good terms but now I’m unsure … Should I mention this to her?

Oh boy, been there. This is a highly relatable issue for me specifically. I think you should kill the host. Rock, hatchet, carving knife, Colt Single Action Army revolver - whatever works really.

In reality, other people aren't thinking about you as much as you might think, and I think the likelihood is this person just forgot to invite you. Which, don't get it twisted, also sucks! It can't hurt to maybe say something, even just ask "are we cool?" Confrontation is weird and hard, and a situation like this can feel hard to bring up. But, if it's really bugging you, the best thing to do is relieve the tension - even if the result is your relationship to this person getting more distant. Better to know than to worry about it forever!

If they did forget, the best way to make sure they never forget you again is to burn your face into their retinas. Second best, paint your face on their bedroom ceiling. Third best, leave speakers whispering your name in the walls of their home.


With that, I set down the pen and burrow into the cold, hard ground for my hibernation. I'll see you all with the coming of Spring, or at least until Issue 4 is out. You can find me @ sasha.shame.official on Instagram, @ miss_shame on TikTok, and in your walls (just knock)! Please submit to my Qualitrics tipbox (at the link in my IG bio), I love reading all your nasty little secrets.

Remember to leave the gas on when you're home,

Sasha Shame