Agony Aunt - Volume XXX Issue 5

It's time to get FIERCE! Yass the boots down diva mother goddess, are you werking?? That's right, it's Rainbow Week in UCD, and we are SLAYING and EATING and LIVING and DYING, hunty.

Speaking of, I'm dying to read more of your wonderful submissions - sent to me at the Qualitrics link in my Instagram bio (@ sasha._.shame)!

STEM student here doing a research project at the moment. Everyone seems to be obsessed with talking about how many hours they’re putting into their work at the lab, what’s a respectful way to tell them to stop being virgins and get a life?

Are you familiar with the term "peacocking"? It sounds like these virgins are trying to show off, which is so sad because of how lame the lab sounds. Unless you're doing morally dubious experiments resulting in A. the destruction of the city or B. the creation of a living abomination, I'm not interested. 

I think the most respectful way to tell them to stop being virgins and get a life, is to tell them to stop being virgins and get a life. Honesty is key, it may hurt to hear but they'll respect you more for it in the long run.

Alternatively, you can be the mad scientist you want to see in the world, and use their work ethic to make minions of all these losers! They might not have the drive to do anything really valuable with their time (like having sex), but with your vision, they could be cogs in the machines of something truly great! 

Been casually seeing this girl for a few weeks and she's much more experienced than I am in all areas related to dating. How do I get over my insecurities about this when we're together? Please help, I'd hate to have to lie to her but I'm also afraid of looking uncool.

Lie. Always lie. Nothing can go wrong in a relationship if you're always lying. In fact, convince her you're like a modern Lord Byron - you invented romance! It's time to go on a wild, Y2K sitcom adventure, and show this girl how COOL you are(n't)!

Or, I guess you could tell her the truth, and trust that she's not going to think you're uncool - and even if she does, SHE'S the loser. Experience romantically, sexually or otherwise, doesn't make you 'cooler', you just have more experience. You have less experience, and that's totally fine. People develop at different paces, and also some people just have significantly less experience than others - people also have different types of experience, and you can't guarantee the experience she has is going to make her more prepared for EVERYTHING in your relationship. There could easily be things you handle better than she does, and that just comes down to the people you are and the experiences you have beyond simply romance and sex. Dating is a messy thing, as people always are, but if you trust each other, you'll be okay.

Hi Sasha Shame, I started dating a guy casually a while ago and he was really into butt play. After we eventually got to it, he started becoming distant and eventually disappeared. What's his deal girlie?

You must have hit a switch in his ass that turned him off (excuse the pun). Have you tried a hard reset? If you press the prostate and the uvula at the same time it should have the same effect as resetting your phone. If that doesn't work, maybe try putting him in rice?

To be honest, I can't tell you what his deal is - it sounds like he got his rocks off a way he wanted, and now he's realised he maybe wasn't as into you - or the experience - as he thought he would be. Maybe he got hit with that good old Sex Shame (no relation), and got freaked out. Maybe you DID just hit a switch and now he's a completely new person with no idea what his life was like before. 

No matter what it was, I'd say you don't need to worry about him, babes. It's truly his loss! Your best bet is to focus on you, on what he's missing out on, and who you could honour with casual dating and butt play next! 

Right-oh, that's all for this issue, folks! Thank you for joining me, once again, for another thrilling journey through the backlogs of my Tipbox. This Rainbow Week, be an ally and give a trans woman your money! Come find me on campus, I take cash AND card! 

Diva down,

Sasha Shame