Aunt E gives our dear readers some much-needed advice.
As we gather in memoriam of the final issue of The University Observer ever — I mean of this year, we must give thanks to our leaders during this year of excitement, of groundbreaking journalism, and of great craic. Orla and Adam led a brilliant year and I take this opportunity to thank them for their steady steering of the UO ship. As I step into this new role of Chief Editor Excellence of the paper, I look to my readers, the writers, the storytellers, the researchers — pardon? Oh. Indeed.
Apologies, my dear niblings, Aunt E has been called away. The Artemis III is in progress and I must serve my people first. So in this final address to those I hold most dear in the world, Belfield, let’s be having you!
Do I end my situationship before summer? I don’t know how I feel about it
Oh the dreaded ‘S’ word. You know the lyrics ‘young hos run free?’ Take this all of you and eat of it, for it is my body (freedom), given up for the Lord (Summer). You do not need to be pulled down by the chains of an inevitably heart breaking ending in your hottest season! Catch flights, not feelings! When your Aunt E was young and flighty, last year, she made the horrid mistake of maintaining one of those disgustingly degrading situationships that ultimately led to a vegas wedding and a subsequent divorce. Egregious waste of a summer and of my beauty.
Mark the calendars, it’s hot girl summer (gender neutral) and we must act accordingly. Break up, stop texting, leave the country. In whatever order you see fit.
I think I need to change my course but think I’m too far in…what do I do??
That’s a paralysing feeling, and I can imagine you’re not alone. However you have already identified the first problem: you’re not where you’re mean to be. The next step is to evaluate where the next adventure lies. Maybe you need to take some time out, or you know exactly what you want to do. Either way, act on this feeling sooner rather than later. When your Aunt E was directing Sinners, she felt that she was indeed in the wrong room. My vision for triplets was not as well received as it could have been and I knew I had outgrown that space. And unfortunately for them, it was reflected in their winnings, only 4 Oscars? I turned my efforts elsewhere and I’m so glad that I did, it earned me my LDN (central) zip code! Anyway, back to you, just make the jump, and the rest will fall into place. Talk to your support system, but don’t let it change your mind, let it support you.
I want to move away for the summer but feel guilty leaving my friends and family!
How lucky to think you have so much to miss! Now cop on. This is a brilliant opportunity for you. Home will always be there, this adventure won’t. When I first travelled for the opening of the Sydney Opera House I thought, will I be homesick? Will I fall at the knees of imposter syndrome? No. In fact I rose, I blossomed and realised my potential as a voyager of the world. There were moments sure; wanting to share wine with my friends and talk about our days, hug my mother, fight with my sister. And yet in between these pages of homesickness I gained more experiences, friends, and memories than I ever could have imagined. Everything in life comes with challenges and change, and the most magical things can happen when we embrace it and let ourselves change with it. So do what’s right for you, but please, for me, spread those wings and fly!
My darling niblings, I believe our time has come to say goodbye. It has been the joy of my year to be guiding you with my excellent and infallible advice. Do not fret, I would never leave the beautiful Belfield brats in less than excellent care, so I look forward to introducing you to your new favourite Aunty soon.
With love,
Your Darling Aunt E