Jersey Sore


Jon Hozier-Byrne stares blankly at the best and worst thing on television – Jersey Shore: Season 2

Jersey Shore is back, and the perennial hangover favourite is as raunchy and cringe-inducing as ever. This reality show follows a houseful of disgraceful human beings and self-proclaimed stereotypes as they “fist-pump” and “smush” their way across the Miami coast.

This isn’t just bad television, it’s bad for you. Each character seems to become more self-indulgent and amoral as the series progresses and it’s for that very reason it’s so much fun to watch.

You won’t like yourself for watching it, but you’ll be kept entertained – whether it’s the steroid-fuelled pituitary morons having a subtextual mickey-swinging contest, or the unbelievably bitchy women giving their boyfriends that third “last chance.” It’s like a fake-tanned, slow-motion car wreck; you know you shouldn’t watch, but your head keeps turning.

Jersey Shore is nothing without its signature characters that have caused so much controversy within the Italian-American community. MTV pulled out all the stops while casting the first season to find the most despicable caricatures of human beings they could possibly find.

You are left wondering if these people are truly real or some of the greatest fictional characters ever written – whether it’s “The Situation,” who hypnotises women with his rippling abs, or Snooki, whose mother was a goblin, and whose father was probably also a goblin.

O-two can’t rightly recommend Jersey Shore. There are literally thousands of other things I’d recommend before I gave this soul-rotting hour an endorsement. Watch that episode of The Simpsons you’ve seen fifty times, that’s a good one. I hear there are lots of things going on outdoors; you could try those I guess.

Ultimately, no-one should watch Jersey Shore, but if you do, it is perfect hangover TV, and you will be kept in a state of open-mouth shock and sheer entertainment. You’re guaranteed to have fun while it’s happening, just get ready to feel a little dirty afterwards.

Jersey Shore: Season 2 airs Mondays at 9pm on MTV.