V for Valentine’s

 
 

SO, it’s the 14th of February: Valentine’s Day. You’re single and once again you have face the assault on the eyes that is cutesy couples, vomit-inducing PDAs and hearts hung, drawn and plastered on every solid surface in sight.

It’s not an easy day for the single friend in the group. The single friend, let’s call him Dylan, has to endure the various rants and emotional breakdowns of his friends because of this so-called ‘public holiday’.

Firstly, he has to listen to his single girl-friends about how St. Valentine was a catholic saint who was publicly executed and the holiday is a representation of how men feel it is okay to express their love and affection on this particular day, as opposed to every other day of the year.

Next, he has to deal with the boyfriend who forgot to make a reservation or found out that all the tickets to Lego Batman are sold out for the evening show. Dylan has to be there to reassure the boyfriend, who shall remain nameless for the sake of his relationship, that there are plenty of romantic things to do in Dublin. We’re students, so the trail of rose petals is out! For example, a stroll through St. Stephen’s Green will make the couple cuddle up for warmth, or driving out to watch the sun set over Dublin Bay is a perfectly romantic way to spend time with one’s significant other. Breakfast in bed is also an alternative to dinner, but as we’re students, who really has the money?

There is the eager fresher who, upon learning of St. Valentine’s demise, suggests spending the evening at a public execution or think it is appropriate to change relationships statuses from “in a relationship” to “engaged”. He is swiftly dealt with.

Finally, there’s the girl who is gunning for top of the class. Valentine’s Day is the perfect time for her to see what she’s missing out on. This also gives Dylan the opportunity to steal the title out from under her.

Luckily, Dylan has a subgroup of friends who invites him out with them. Although as it is a Tuesday night, that almost certainly entails spending too much on drink, waiting outside in the rain for hours to get into an over-crowded club and gambling with the now intoxicated friends on who gets the last seat in the taxi home, before his nine o’clock lecture on Wednesday.

But alas, Dylan resigns himself to going home alone for another Valentine’s day, hopeful, like so many other singles out there, that maybe next year it will be different and he’ll have found that special someone to stress over for one day in the year.

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